How to Keep Pushy Parents from Hijacking Your Wedding
Are you worried that your overbearing parents are going to take over your wedding and make it their special day rather than yours? In the past, the traditional role of the mother of the bride is to plan the wedding. However, these days there is more of a perception of the bride and groom as individuals and the wedding is more about what they want rather than what is best for the parent.
When parents or grandparents come from a generation where weddings were done a certain way and their elders called the shots, they can find it difficult to accept the idea that the bride and groom are in charge of their own wedding day. Also, if your mother or father are generally overbearing, protective and controlling in other aspects of your life – it won’t be too surprising if they act like this on your wedding day at Carden Park in Cheshireas well.
So, what can you do to keep pushy parents from completely taking over your wedding day? This can be a very emotionally charged situation anyway, so it is important to handle this situation with care so that you do not add to the already existing stress. Pick your battles wisely and be prepared to compromise.
Something to Note – Are They Paying For It?
It is traditional for parents to cover the costs of a wedding, which does give them a bit of say in what happens. If your parents are covering your wedding you can argue with them, they can always play this card and point out that they are footing the bill. Hopefully, you will be able to work out some type of compromise – however if you really want to be able to call all of the shots at your wedding you might want to consider paying the bill yourself.
Be Honest and Calm
If your parents are being overbearing and trying to control your wedding too much, don’t confront them by reacting in a stressful way. Do your best to stay calm and talk to them rationally. For example, if your mother is trying to push you to wear a certain style of dress – let her know that you don’t really think the dress looks best on you and you want to wear something that is a little more your style on your wedding day. Be firm and calm, standing up for yourself without calling names or getting upset. If your message is ignored you might have to repeat it, but continue to confidently assert your boundaries until you get your point across.
Check Out the Vendors Alone
If your pushy parents don’t come with you to the flower shop the wedding venues in Cheshireor the caterer, they cannot be there to force their opinions on you. Try to schedule these visits when you know they aren’t available. If they ask you why you didn’t invite them, let them know that you wanted to make the decisions with your significant other so that you could practice deciding on things together and compromising – skills you will need to have when you are married.
Ask a Friend to Be a Buffer
You can ask one of your friends to be a buffer and distract your overbearing parent when they start to meddle in the affairs of your wedding. This should be your calmest friend who is really good at diffusing tense situations. For example, if your father is starting to fuss at the wedding about how the food isn’t up to his standard and is about to make a scene by complaining to the caterer, your buffer friend can distract him by talking to him, asking him questions or asking him to help with something.
Find a Balance
If you know you have a pushy and overbearing parent, you probably already have experience dealing with them in other situations throughout your life. As you grow up, it is important to find a healthy balance in how much you compromise with your parent. You know your parent and your relationship with them better than anyone, so you know what feels right.
For some people, it means that they are happy to let parents chose some details while they control other aspects of the wedding. For others, the best bet is banning parents from wedding planning completely. You know what your parent is like, so feel free to involve them in the wedding as much as you feel comfortable with.